Monday, October 19, 2015

Clock In The H2

Wednesday. I looked at the clock in my head and realized it was off. I then looked at the clock on my bedside table and saw 13:09 blinking.
Power must have gone out last night.
I got out of my bed and stretched. Today was going to be a good day.. Or at least that's what I thought.
Sat at the table in the kitchen of my apartment and ate fruit loops in a china bowl of OJ. After all that was left in the bowl was a bit of OJ and some soggy remnants of blue and purple fruit loops I made a bagel with tuna fish. I then fed Salvador, put on clothes, brushed my teeth as well as my hair, and walked out the front door. In the hallway I walked to the elevator. As I drew near I noticed that the door to the stairs was cracked. I decided that after all the food that I had eaten for breakfast that it couldn't hurt to take the stairs.
Almost down the stairs I tripped and was forced to run all the way down to avoid falling on my face. Unfortunately the door leading to the lobby was also slightly open and so when I slammed into it hoping to break my fall it flew open and the next thing I knew I was lying on the cold, wet, soapy floor.
Looking up at the ceiling feeling like a real sucker I saw the janitor's face come into focus.
"Quite the fall you just took." I tried to get past the growing pounding in my head. "What?"
"I said; that was quite the fall you just had." Said the Janitor irritably. I closed my eyes and heard the janitor walk away muttering something about people these days not being able to converse.
Walking down the street on my way to the post office I felt my heart sink as I drew closer to the crowd and noticed that the street was blocked off.
Of course it had to be today.
The street was lined with tents and big white trailer, there were people in lab coats running all along the block.
"Sorry sir, but we can't let you in."
I looked to my left and saw a man in a lab coat holding a clipboard and what looks like a really good cup of joe. I grunt and continued to walk towards the group of people whom I assumed were scientists here to study the lunar eclipse.
"Sir, I really must insist. Could you please just take the other way through the park?"
I walked into the post office with a shih tzu under one arm. As I signed the form to have my package delivered directly into my living room the woman at the counter played with the shih tzu.
"He's so cute!" She exclaimed. "She's all yours if you want her." I responded in a rather bothered tone.
"Really?" The woman look confused, but excited at the same time "Who would ever want to lose such a lovely dog?"
I put down the pen cover my face with my hands. I try and remember what happened after the woman had said this to me. I decide to take a break from recounting my day and get up to grab a mug of warm milk. On my way to the kitchen I glance into the living room where my newest addition to my apartment is sitting. The brown box will most likely sit in the same spot for a good 24 hours before I do anything with it.
The milk is good. I sip it and marvel at its silky goodness. Perfect temperature, perfect sweetness from the honey. I walk back to the desk and pick up my pen.
"As I said before she's all yours if you want her."
"Well I'll take her." The woman at the counter gave me my receipt and i left the post office leaving behind the dog that I was forced to buy at the dog show that I was forced to go through when I was denied entrance to the lunar eclipse club.
Walking home I saw the truck with my shipment in it pass me. I was glad that it was not raining because had it been I would've been soaked with water as the truck passed. I continued to walk and made it home without incident. I walked up the stairs because the elevator was currently being used to transport my order. I was very pleased that when I arrived at my apartment that the delivery people were waiting for me with a big brown box. I opened the door so that they could carry it into the living room and once they had done so I made them some tea which I put into two little Dixie cups and sent them on their way. Which leads me to now. I am very excited for tomorrow and cannot wait to think of all the awesome things that I will do with the contents of that box or possibly even more important than the contents is the box itself.
I finish the entry for today and allow myself to yawn. Salvador looks down at me from his perch on top of my bookcase.
"Well that's a wrap." I say to him as I stand up and stretch. "See ya' tomorrow Sal." I mutter as I leave the room and turn the light off.
I lay in bed staring at the clock in my head with my eyes closed. 12:08. I smile slightly as I think about what tomorrow will bring. Once again I am glad that I am alive. The clock hits zero and everything goes black.

        Although it pains me to admit this, I did actually enjoy the company of the shih tzu while it lasted and even went so far as to give her the name of "ALiC3". Maybe I'll go to the post office tomorrow and give the woman instructions on how to make a collar with the name on it

Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Letter; A;

The day started with Tuesday. I was reading this word to myself over and over again all the while getting more and more excited. The letter that I had received this morning stated as follows.

                 "Dear Mattheus P.S. Salomon,
We at the head of board of delivery services and goods shipping are pleased to
inform you that your place of residence has in fact been validated. Although
our head of location services insisted that there was no such place as Collingwood
Heights a quick look in the yellow pages and a frantic flip through the white pages
has informed me that not only does your address exist, but also that I am looking
for a new head of location services. It is therefore with this letter that I must offer you my most humblest of apologies and inform you that your package will be delivered no later than 5:33 pm Wednesday.
                        Sorry for the inconvenience,                                                                                                                    Rufus The Head Management Guy

Finally! I could barely contain my excitement for my most anticipated gift to myself of the decade! I was quickly brought back to earth as the usual racket began to waft down through the floors above me as the construction workers began their work on renovating the 13th floor. The rest of the day continued as normal. I went to the hardware store so I could gather the materials for my one of a kind skylight, visited my P.O. box around lunch time and say that my sandwich had been delivered along with a bag of pretzels. After eating my pretzels and throwing my sandwich at a black cat to stop it from crossing my path I came home where I played ping pong with my monkey Salvador.

Currently I am recording this on my audio diary, which I will write down later, and preparing my bed and solar system night light for my slumber.
P.S.                                                                                                                                           I've just looked out my window and noticed that someone has hung a bra on the statue of Collingwood. Hmmm maybe it has something to do with the dead girl they found at the edge of the lake. Or maybe it's that crazy tagger that my mother keeps sending me news paper clippings of. No matter it's time for hibernation anyways.