"Dear Mattheus P.S. Salomon,
We at the head of board of delivery services and goods shipping are pleased to
inform you that your place of residence has in fact been validated. Although
our head of location services insisted that there was no such place as Collingwood
Heights a quick look in the yellow pages and a frantic flip through the white pages
has informed me that not only does your address exist, but also that I am looking
for a new head of location services. It is therefore with this letter that I must offer you my most humblest of apologies and inform you that your package will be delivered no later than 5:33 pm Wednesday.
Sorry for the inconvenience, Rufus The Head Management Guy
Finally! I could barely contain my excitement for my most anticipated gift to myself of the decade! I was quickly brought back to earth as the usual racket began to waft down through the floors above me as the construction workers began their work on renovating the 13th floor. The rest of the day continued as normal. I went to the hardware store so I could gather the materials for my one of a kind skylight, visited my P.O. box around lunch time and say that my sandwich had been delivered along with a bag of pretzels. After eating my pretzels and throwing my sandwich at a black cat to stop it from crossing my path I came home where I played ping pong with my monkey Salvador.
Currently I am recording this on my audio diary, which I will write down later, and preparing my bed and solar system night light for my slumber.
P.S. I've just looked out my window and noticed that someone has hung a bra on the statue of Collingwood. Hmmm maybe it has something to do with the dead girl they found at the edge of the lake. Or maybe it's that crazy tagger that my mother keeps sending me news paper clippings of. No matter it's time for hibernation anyways.